Your One and Only
by GleeFan412
Summary: Quinn's POV about her feelings for Rachel
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first try at a Faberry fic. I had an idea pop into my head and thought I'd give it a try. Hope you all like it, and I'd love to know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters.**

**Your One and Only**

**Part 1**

You know you're blatantly staring at her, but you can't help it, and don't even bother to tear your eyes off of her. Your current staring session is safe for now, since she's singing in the center of the room and everyone has their attention on her. She has that star 'look at me' quality about her as she pours her heart and soul into whatever Mr. Schue's assignment was this week. Every little twirl she makes, the way she moves her hips to the beat of the music, it's entrancing and you are definitely caught up in her trance. You're vaguely aware of the clapping around you and realize that she's done singing and you had been in such a daze by watching her, your brain hasn't even registered yet that the song has come to an end. Your stomach flips and you swear she's staring right at you with a beaming smile and sly wink, but you chalk it up to the fact that you foolishly ate lunch in the cafeteria earlier today. A slight blush rises up your cheeks as you swear for a second time that she is definitely winking at you, until a voice in your head tells you to turn around. You try not to be too obvious as you turn your body slightly in your seat to see that Finn is sitting directly behind you, of course he is. _You're such an idiot Quinn_, you chastise yourself. Of fucking course she was winking at Finn, he's her boyfriend. Your days goes from bad to worse as she walks right by you, sits in his lap, and kisses him on the cheek. You can't help but wish that it was your lap that she was sitting in.

"Get a room," you mutter to them as you turn back towards the front of the classroom. Glancing at your watch you sigh in relief to see that there is only five minutes until the end of school, and the beginning of winter vacation. You can't wait to spend two lovely weeks holed up alone in your room, and more importantly, alone with your thoughts. It's been getting harder to hide how you feel, and you hope some time away from school and glee will help get her out of your mind.

"Have a good Christmas, Quinn."

Her voice jolts you out of your deep thoughts, and you look up to be met with sparkling brown eyes and a big smile that is so contagious, you can't help but smile yourself. "Thanks," you say, hoping that your rapidly beating heart isn't about to burst out from under your cardigan. You want to say more, anything to keep her in front of you and talking, but nothing comes to mind. You feel as though you've suddenly gone mute.

"Come on, Rach, let's go."

You see Finn calling her from the doorway and wish he would just disappear.

She looks from him, to you, and then back to him again before grabbing her bag and heading in his direction. "See you after vacation," she says, looking at you once last time over her shoulder before leaving with him.

"Earth to Q, are you leaving, or spending Christmas right here?"

"You're so funny, Santana." You know she's being sarcastic, but her tone annoys you.

"You're losing your touch. I saw you actually being nice to Berry just now."

You freeze, and only hope that a look of panic isn't etched on your face. She couldn't have figured you out, could she? You try to think of a witty come back, something to divert the attention from her, but nothing comes to mind.

"San, we have to get going. We have our last Cheerios practice before break. You know Coach will kill us if we're late. It's not too late to join us, Quinn."

You breathe a sigh of relief as Brittany saves you from Santana's questioning stare. "I know, Britt, but I've made up my mind for sure, I don't want to cheer anymore."

"Britts, right we gotta go. Let's do something over break, ok?"

You nod. "Sure, call me." You know she won't, now that she and Brittany are finally official, they are practically joined at the hip. You take the long way home and are ashamed to admit you drive by her house, but her car's not there. Finally, you go home, let yourself into the house, kick off your shoes in the hallway and make your way up the stairs to your room. Flopping on the bed, you let all your thoughts flood your mind. There are too many thoughts, you have no idea where to begin and your head starts to pound.

First, you're not really looking forward to the holidays, they haven't been the same since your mom left your dad. You feel partly to blame, getting pregnant at sixteen certainly wasn't on anyone's list of things to do or expect. You're pretty sure the stress drove your dad to cheat on your mom, which in turn led to the divorce. Not only did you disappoint your mom when you got pregnant, but you also disappointed her when you gave Beth up for adoption. The room she got ready as a nursery still has everything in it, neither of you had the heart to take it down. You know you did the right thing for Beth, but it still hurts everyday, knowing that she's out there somewhere with Shelby, and once again you let your mom down.

Now, you're planning on dropping one more big bomb, that will most likely kill the shaky relationship you have with her. You want so badly to tell your mom that you're gay, you always have been, and the boys were just a facade to make everyone happy, to make the impression that you really did have the perfect life and family. All you needed was the right time, and then Santana came out and now if you do it too, people will just assume you're doing it because it's the new fad and being gay is cool.

You try to think of anything but the thoughts filling your head, and a vision of her floods your mind. You smile, thinking about her perfect she is, but your smile quickly disappears when you remember the big hurdle that keeps you and her from being together. One Finn Hudson. Well, him and the fact that she isn't gay. You feel tears begin to roll down your cheeks before you can stop them. You wish you had someone to confide all these feelings to, but there is no one, so you cry into your pillow until you have no more tears to cry, and fall into a restless sleep.

**/**

You have somehow managed to make it two whole days of being in your room, and you're surprised your mom hasn't checked to make sure you were still alive. You're even more surprised when your phone rings and Santana's pictures comes across your iphone screen. You really didn't think she'd call. "Hey."

"Hey Q. Britts and I are going ice skating and you should really come with us."

Doing anything fun and holiday like is against your goal of staying in your room being miserable, but a part of you misses hanging out with your two best friends.

"Please say yes!" you hear Brittany yell in the background.

"Fine, ok I'll come. Give me a few minutes to get ready."

"Awesome, I'll be at your house in ten."

You drag yourself off the bed and look at yourself in your full length mirror. You look like crap. You quickly pull on some warm clothes, take a brush through your short hair, and apply some makeup, all by the time Santana is downstairs, beckoning you with her car horn. You scribble a quick note telling your mom not to wait for you for dinner and you're out the door.

"You look like crap," Santana says to you bluntly as you get into her car.

"Aw thanks, you look great too."

"No seriously Q. I'm worried about you. There's something going on that you're not telling us. You know you can tell Britts and I anything."

"Yeah, totally Quinn, we're here for you," Brittany adds, turning from her spot in the passenger seat to look back at you. "We're super glad you're coming with us. I've missed the Unholy Trinity going out and about."

You smile an actual smile at the mention of the nickname you gave yourselves years ago. "I'm glad I came too."

Santana glances back at you using the rearview mirror. "She what is going on with you?"

You can tell Santana is actually being sincere for once. You used to be the best of friends, and it's not secret that you're not as close as you have been, but it's nice to know she's still there when you need her.

"I just have a lot on my mind." you say truthfully.

"Like one Miss Rachel Berry," she says with a wink.

You don't even know how to respond because you don't know whether to deny it or finally get it out in the open.

"You were right San, you were so right," Brittany says, getting excited. "Aw, you two would be so cute together!"

You're sure your face is as red as your scarf and you wish you could shrink into the backseat and disappear. You take a deep breath collecting your thoughts before you say something you don't want them to know yet. "How did you know?"

"Please, Q, you really have to be more careful with your leering. Anyone with two eyes can see that you've had the hots for Berry for a long time."

"Please don't tell anyone, please." You feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders as you realize this is the first time you've acknowledged your crush on Rachel out loud.

"I'd never do that to anyone, believe me."

You know exactly what she's talking about and you immediately feel better, knowing your secret was safe. "I like her a lot," you admit, happy to finally be able to talk to someone about it.

"Well then go get her," Santana says as if it's as easy as buying an article of clothing.

"You are forgetting two very big things. One, she's not single, and two, she's not gay."

Santana waves her hand as if she's waving a fly away from her. "All technicalities Quinn. Finn is the worst boyfriend ever. She would be lucky to be with you."

You suddenly feel the need to take the conversation away off of you. "I thought we were going skating. We're not in Lima anymore."

"San decided the Lima skating rink was too boring, we're going to the bigger one in the next town."

You shake your head with a smile, leave it to Santana to even make ice skating interesting. Lucky for you, they are pulling into the parking lot of the rink before either of your friends can question you any further. You have a slight spring in your step as you follow them to the skate rental desk. If you knew admitting your feelings would feel this good, you would have done it months ago.

Santana and Brittany take right to the ice, skating circles around the other people enjoying the rare warm winter day.

You hang back a minute, not as good on the ice as they are when someone catches your attention out of the corner of your eye. You do a double take as you see Finn skating with a girl, only, the girl isn't Rachel. You are pretty sure your mouth is hanging open in shock, and hope there is an explanation for what is going on right in front of your disbelieving eyes. You clumsily skate towards Santana and Brittany to get their take on it, before you jump to conclusions. "Hey guys, did you see who I just saw?"

Santana follows your line of vision and notices the tall boy right away. "Holy shit, what is he doing with that girl? That's not Berry!"

"You guys, Finn wouldn't cheat on Rachel, he loves her," Brittany says, trying to be the voice of reason.

"I wouldn't trust him. Besides, he did cheat on Q with Rachel that one time, and then Finn and Q cheated when she was with Sam, and I'm sure there was more."

"Ok, enough Santana. Let's not rehash old topics, let's just figure out what's going on now. If he hurts Rachel, I'll kill him myself." You all watch as Finn skates with the pretty blonde girl, and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Maybe I was wrong," Brittany admits.

"This is bad," you hear yourself mumble. You know have to decide what to do with this newly obtained information. Right away you want to tell Rachel, but what if she doesn't believe you. You go to grab for your phone to get evidence but when you look around, Finn and the mystery girl are no where to be found. "Shoot! Where did they go? I need to get it on my phone so she'll believe me."

"I don't think us telling her is a good idea."

You look to Brittany, torn about what to do.

Santana interjects before you can respond. "How about we just enjoy the rest of the day and worry about Finn and the midget later."

**/**

It takes you two whole days to get up the courage to go over to Rachel's house and tell her what you saw the other day. It takes you another ten minutes to convince yourself to actually get out of the car. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves as beads of sweat begin to form on the palms of your hands.

"Quinn?"

You jump at the sound of her voice and drop your keys from your already shaking hands. You slowly turn your head to look out the window and almost gasp out loud by just how beautiful she really is. How is it possible for someone to look this good after just coming back from a run? You decide right then that her hair up in a messy bun and little tiny running shorts are now your most favorite outfit of hers.

"Are you going to get out of the car?" she asks, pulling her ear buds from her ears.

Finally pushing your fears aside, you get out of the car and follow her to the front door.

"What do I owe the honor of Miss Quinn Fabray gracing me with her presence?"

You can't tell if she's being serious or mocking you. You know you don't deserve her to be nice, after the way you've treated her the past few years. "I need to talk to you, and this was something that couldn't be done over the phone."

"Oh, well, come in then, please."

_There's no turning back now_, you tell yourself.

"Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," she says as she points to a spot on the couch.

You wring your hands nervously before wiping the sweat off onto your jeans. You're just about to open your mouth to speak when her phone goes off. You know by the way her face lights up, it's Finn.

"Hi Finn," she says with a big smile.

You watch as her face goes from happy, to sad, to back to happy again, trying to hide her obvious disappointment.

"You had to work late the other night too, Finn. I was really looking forward to our date tonight. Fine, I love you too," she says softly as she hangs up the phone. "I'm sorry, what did you want to tell me?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she says, but her face tells otherwise. "Would you excuse me for a minute, I'll be right back."

You watch as she hurries out of the room and it takes all you have not to run out of the room after her.

"Rachel, Honey, are you home?"

You look up to see a very handsome black man walk into the living room and recognize him as one of Rachel's fathers.

"Why, hello. I'm sorry, I didn't know we had company."

"It's ok, I'm just here visiting Rachel."

"You'll have to forgive me, I'm terrible with names. You look familiar from the glee club."

"I'm Quinn," you say, as you stand up and shake his hand.

A smile comes over his dark face. "Oh, so you're the Quinn Rachel is constantly talking about. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Can I get you anything? I see that Rachel has forgotten her manners."

"I'm fine thank you." You sit back down as he leaves the room and can't help but be surprised that Rachel has mentioned you. You can only hope it's good things and not the awful things you've done to her.

"I'm sorry to leave you like that Quinn. What did you want to tell me?"

You can tell she's been crying and the last thing you want to do is make the situation worse. "I was out the other day," you start slowly and softly. "I saw something that you really need to know about, Rachel."

"What is it Quinn? You're worrying me."

"I saw Finn, he was out skating a few days ago."

"That's impossible," she exclaims, jumping up from her spot on the couch. "Finn has been working extra hours at Burt's shop lately."

"That's what he wants you to think, Rachel. He's actually been with some other girl. I'm really sorry."

"No! You're lying! You're just jealous that Finn chose me over you."

"I wish I was lying, but I'm trying to help. Santana and Brittany saw it too, if you don't believe me."

"I don't believe you, why should I? Just when I thought maybe we were close to becoming friends. Get out!"

"Please, listen to me. You're too good for him, you deserve better.'

"I'm done listening to this!" she yells as she storms off to the front door, and holds it open for you.

You hold back tears as you run to your car, not letting them fall into you're safely inside. Your plan completely backfired, now Rachel hates you. You can't believe you actually had visions of her thanking you and falling into your arms.

**/**

"Hey, are you ok?"

You look up from your spot on your bed to see your sister standing in the doorway. "I'm fine," you mutter more into the pillow than to her. You feel the bed dip down a little and know she has invited herself in and is now sitting on the bed beside you.

"Mom's worried about you."

You sit up to face her, crossing your legs underneath you. "You can tell Mom I'm just fine."

"We used to be so close, Quinn. What happened?"

You sigh in frustration, you really don't want to get into feelings and being all mushy, it goes against your plan to be completely miserable all vacation. "I got pregnant, ruined our family's reputation, Dad cheated, Mom kicked him out, I gave Beth up for adoption, should I keep going?"

"I just get this sense it'd deeper than that? I know I haven't been the best sister around, but it's Christmas, almost a new year. Can we have a new start?"

You feel unexpected tears come to your eyes and thought you had no more tears to cry. Part of you wants to tell her so much, just get it all out in the open, but it's stuck deep down. You hug her, knowing it says more than words can.

"Will you come downstairs now? It is Christmas, after all."

You smile despite the tears, happy to have your sister back on your side.

**/**

You pace in front of your full length mirror, debating if you should change again. You can't believe you let Santana talk you into going to her parents huge New Year's Eve party. Nothing you put on seems to look good, though you don't know why it matters, who are you trying to impress? You glance over to your alarm clock and see that you better get going or Santana will never let you live down being late. Bundling up against the cold you decide to walk at the last minute, hoping to clear your head as you make your way to the party. You still haven't heard from Rachel since you told her about Finn, and you haven't had the guts to call her and see how she's doing.

"Thank god you're here," Santana says as soon as you step in the door. "There's only so much Britts and I can handle before we drink all the alcohol."

You scan the large foyer and can't believe how many people are in the large Lopez house. "Your parents sure know how to throw a party."

"Yeah well my dad is now chief of surgery now or something, I guess it's a big deal. Anyway, let's get you a drink."

You follow behind but something causes you to stop dead in your tracks. You swear that girl looks an awful lot like Rachel, but it couldn't be her, could it?

"Quinn?" She follows your line of vision and smiles knowingly. "Oh, did I forget to mention one of Berry's dads works with mine now. She's actually not so bad looking when she's not raiding a kindergartener's closet.

Not that bad looking? She looks absolutely beautiful and you can't help but stare and hope you're not drooling. "How could you not tell me she was going to be here?" you hiss at Santana.

"You'll thank me later, I'm sure of it."

You hesitantly take a cup from Santana, knowing she has a tendency to make her drinks strong, but you will probably need it to make it through the night. The alcohol burns all the way down your throat and hits your stomach with a satisfying feeling. You turn to thank Santana for the excess alcohol but she is no where to be found, and you can only assume you don't want to know what Brittany and Santana are up to at the moment. You settle yourself against a wall, which just happens to have a perfect view of Rachel dancing with some people you don't know. You can't help but be jealous of the countless amounts of guys who have been hitting on her, and dancing up on her. It takes all of your willpower not to knock them out and dance with her yourself, but you're not that drunk…yet anyway. You remove yourself from your permanent spot on the wall to get another drink and try to distance yourself from the beautiful girl. Grabbing your coat, you go outside to get some air and try to think about anything other than the fact that Rachel was closely dancing with random guys. You'd kill for a cigarette right now and curse silently when your hand comes out of your pocket empty.

"You were right you know," a small voice says from behind you.

You don't have to turn around to know who it is and to say you're surprised is an understatement. She is even more beautiful up close, if that's possible. Her low cut, skin tight black dress really leaves nothing to the imagination. "I was right about what?" you ask, finally finding your voice.

"Finn. He was cheating, with a girl from Vocal Adrenaline." She rubs her bare arms to fight off the cold.

You can't tell if her face is red from the cold or if she's crying. "I'm really sorry, I didn't want to be right." Before you know what you're doing, you open your coat to her, inviting her in from the cold.

She hesitates for a moment, before joining you in your coat, arms tight around your waist. "I'm sorry I lashed out at you."

You rest your chin lightly on top of her head, eyes closed slightly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, and never want this moment to end. You wrap your arms around her, closing your coat around the both of you. "It's ok, really, don't apologize. He's an idiot if he can't see what an amazing person you are."

"Really?" she says, not bothering to hide her tears.

"Really," you confirm. You have no idea how long the two of you stay like that, caught up in the moment, but you hear people start to shout out a count down inside the house. "Guess it's almost midnight," you say, finally breaking the silence. "You can go inside, I'm sure there are plenty of guys waiting to kiss you as the clock strikes twelve."

She steps back so she can look you in the eyes, her already beautiful brown eyes are only accentuated by her tears. "I'm pretty content right where I am," she says shyly.

Your face begins to burn and you don't know if it's from the cold, alcohol, or the way she's making you feel at the moment. "Me too," you admit, and can't believe you just said it.

"Three, two, one," she says softly. "Happy New Year, Quinn."

You look down at her, "Happy New Year Rachel." You can feel your heart rate begin to increase as she steps on her tip toes and leans in towards you. You are completely taken by surprise as her lips meet yours, completely expecting a kiss on the cheek. You push your lips softly against hers, savoring the taste of her berry lip gloss. You hate to be cliché but it's exactly how you had imagined it and more. You feel her pull away and wish it could have lasted a lot longer. Just like that, she turns and runs back into the house, leaving you more confused than ever.

**A/N: Ok, so this is getting a lot longer than I had envisoned. I'm thinking now I will write it into two parts. Maybe the next part will be from Rachel's POV. What do you guys think? Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is a second part to Your One and Only. Please read that one first. Hope you all like it, and I'd love to know what you think.**

**Thank you all for the kind words of my first piece.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters.**

**Promise I'm Worthy**

**Part 2**

You grab your coat off the hook on your way out the door and hurry to the mailbox. This has been your daily ritual for the last few days, and will continue to be this way until what you are seeking is in your hands. You quickly sort through all the mail that doesn't apply to you, and with a huge feeling of defeat, you throw the unwanted mail back in the mailbox. Your sure one of your dads will voice their disproval at the fact that you can't just bring the mail in, but every day that the thick acceptance letter from NYADA isn't in your possession, your heart drops a bit. You sulk back into the house, worried more than ever that if you haven't been accepted by now, you never will be, and your chance of getting out of this no name town is slowly slipping away. You take off your coat, throw it in the direction of the hook, miss horribly, leave it on the floor, and make your way up the stairs to your bedroom. You flop down dramatically on your bed and try to fight back tears, determined not to cry. It's just that, it's one thing to be the best in a glee club in no where Ohio, but it's completely different to be acknowledged by a prestigious school like NYADA. Doubt starts to fill your mind and maybe you really aren't as talented as you have been led to believe since you were of an age that you could understand what people were saying to you. This wasn't how you wanted to spend your vacation from school. Too many thoughts flood your mind and you make yourself get up off the bed and go over to your desk to make a list and hope it helps. Things that need to be resolved before school starts again, or TTNTBRBSSA, you abbreviate at the top of the page.

One: NYADA. You need to make a back up plan if the unthinkable happens and you don't get in. No matter what, you will be going to New York, your future after high school depends on it.

Two: Finn. You know something isn't right between you two, but you keep telling yourself it's because he has been working longer hours lately. Though, the longer he works, the less you begin to miss him, and you feel awful about that too. You try to ignore the voice in the back of your mind, look down at the paper and you're surprised to see that you have scribbled Quinn's name down under Finn's. An instant smile comes to your face thinking about the blonde girl. You want to help her so much, but you have no idea where to even start. How do you help someone who won't accept your help? You tried to contact her over the summer, you tried to keep her from dying her hair that awful pepto bismol pink, and you're so lucky you convinced her not to go through with her plan to get Beth back, but you feel like you need to do more for her. All you ever wanted was to be friends with her, best friends, girlfriends? You shake your head at that last thought, it was crazy to even think of the last one as a possibility. Frustrated with everything in your life at the moment, you decide to go for a run, nothing else clears your head like a good few mile run.

**/**

You get back to your house a little while later, head clear and feeling much better about where your life is going, when you suddenly stop dead in your tracks. The one person you just finally got out of your head is now sitting in her car, in your driveway. Why on earth would Quinn be at your house, looking incredibly nervous, but so cute at the same time. That weird tingle in your stomach appears as you look at her, she's talking to herself and you find it adorable, though you have no idea why. You've always had some weird feelings when it came to Quinn, but always just brushed it off as being envious of her. Though, you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't think she had some sort of feelings for you as well. It's hard not to see they way she looks at you, the reasons behind the horrible way she treats you, and if nothing else, your dads have gifted you with a wonderful gaydar, and you are pretty sure Quinn has a secret she's not telling anyone. "Quinn?" you hear yourself say. You watch as she jumps at the sound of your voice, and curiosity is killing you to know why she's here and so nervous at that. "Are you going to get out of the car?" you ask as shut off your iPod and pull your ear buds out of your ears.

"I need to talk to you and this was something I didn't want to do over the phone," she says to you as she gets out of her car.

"Oh, well, come in then." You lead the way to the front door, and hold it open for your impromptu guest. Thoughts are racing through your head as you try to guess what Quinn has come here to tell you. "Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," you say, as you gesture towards the couch. You watch as Quinn seems to grow more nervous by the second, and are about to say something when your phone goes off. You give Quinn a quick apologetic look and answer your phone. "Hi, Finn." You are actually looking forward to your date with him tonight, hoping that it will help ease some of the doubts you've been having in your mind about the two of you. You listen quietly as he explains that he has to work late and cancel another date in the last few days. "You had to work late the other night too, Finn. I was really looking forward to our date tonight." Sighing you give in to his apologizes and promises of a bigger date later in the week. "Fine, I love you too," you say softly and hang up the phone. "I'm sorry, what did you want to tell me?"

"Are you ok?" she asks you sincerely.

"I'm fine," you answer a little too quickly, trying more to convince yourself than the girl sitting before you. You feel tears coming to your eyes, but for all the wrong reasons. "Would you excuse me for a minute, I'll be right back." _Seriously, Rachel, get a grip on yourself! _you scold yourself as soon as you are out of Quinn's sight. You furiously wipe at your tears, your head is swimming with confusion, you have no control at the moment and you hate not being in control. Taking a deep breath, you regain your composure and go back to talk with Quinn. "I'm sorry to run out of the room like that. What did you want to tell me?" you ask, sitting in a chair across from her.

"I was out the other day," she starts slowly and softly. "I saw something that you really need to know about, Rachel."

"What is it Quinn? You're worrying me." This wasn't exactly the direction you had assumed the conversation would be going in.

"I saw Finn, he was out skating a few days ago," she continues, but you cut her off.

"That's impossible!" You exclaim, jumping up from your chair. "Finn has been working extra hours at Burt's shop."

"That's what he wants you to think, Rachel. He's actually been with some other girl. I'm really sorry."

"No! You're lying! You're just jealous that Finn chose me over you." You hear the words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. You can read Quinn's face pretty well and you know that she's not lying, but you're not ready to admit that yet.

"I wish I was lying, but I'm trying to help. Santana and Brittany saw it too, if you don't believe me."

"I don't believe you, why should I? Just when I thought maybe we were close to becoming friends. Get out!" You're angry and babbling, and you're afraid you're going to let out your true feelings.

"Please, listen to me. You're too good for him, you deserve better."

"I'm done listening to this!" you yell and storm off to the front door, yanking it open for her. You need to get her out of the house before you say something you'll regret. You slam the door behind her, and lean against it, your back instantly chills from the cold stained glass. Tears are once again freely pouring down your face and this time you don't bother to wipe them away. The scary part is, you're not crying because of the news of Finn cheating, because if you're being honest with yourself, in the back of your mind you knew something was going on with him. You realize you're crying because for a minute you actually thought Quinn was coming to confess some sort of secret feelings for you, and you're hurt that wasn't it, and mad at yourself for getting your hopes up.

**/**

You wake up the next morning, eyes puffy, throat scratchy, and generally not feeling well at all. It takes a minute for your mind to register that it's much brighter out than when you normally wake up. You grope around your night table for your phone and are horrified to see that is it ten o'clock. You are officially three hours behind your daily morning routine, and for the first time in your life, you don't care. You have no interest in getting on the elliptical or doing your vocal exercises to broaden your already impressive range. There's no point in improving your voice when you have no where to use it. No one cares how much of a range you have when you're stuck doing community theater in Lima, Ohio. You think about going on another run to sort through the constant voices in your head. You lazily drag your thumb over the unlock screen of your iPhone and click on the weather app. The sun is deceiving and it's way too cold to go out for a run, so you decide to do the next best thing. You walk the few short steps to your bathroom and turn the shower on to as hot as it can go. The mirrors begin to steam up as you step in and close the glass door behind you. The water is scalding and barely tolerable, but it's just what you need to try to wash away everything that you are feeling. Slowly, the tension leaves your body and swirls down the drain along with the scolding water. Head now clear, you know what the first thing you must do today. The water begins to run cold so you turn it off, wrap yourself in a fluffy pink towel, and go back into your bedroom. You put your wet hair into a braid, dry yourself off, and grab some jeans and a sweatshirt from your closet and you're ready to go. You practice what you want to say to yourself over and over, but as soon as you get there and see his half smile, dopey expression, everything you wanted to say flies right out of your head.

"Hey Rach, what's up? I wasn't expecting you to stop by today," he says, placing an oil covered wrench down on the work bench.

"I know, but we need to talk. Can you take a quick break or something?"

He wipes his hands on his coveralls before answering. "Yeah sure, I don't think Burt will mind, it's slow here this morning."

You follow him to the back room for a little privacy and think about how you want to begin. "I know," you state simply. You watch the expression on his face change, and for someone who is normally so clueless, he knows exactly what you are talking about.

"I'm really sorry Rach, I wanted to tell you before things got out of control, but there never seemed to be a good time. How did you find out?"

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before answering him. "I think we both know things haven't been the same between us for a while now. When we got back together at Nationals I think we both knew in the back of our minds it wasn't going to last forever. I'm going to New York and you want to stay here, and there is nothing wrong with that. Sure, I'd rather you would have come to talk to me before meeting this new girl, but I just want you happy Finn, and I'd really like to keep things amicable." You raise your eyes towards his and see that you have lost him. "I want us to remain friends, Finn," you clarify. "We're still going to be the leaders of glee, we'll probably still sing together from time to time, I don't want any added tension to the group if we're going to win Regionals."

"Wow, wait. So you know I cheated on you, and you're not biting my head off? You really are the best girlfriend ever. You're right, things haven't been quite the same lately, and I would just hold you back from reaching your dreams."

You think for a moment how he would feel now that you have been honest with yourself and understand the true reason why you have pined over Finn for the last few years. It wasn't that you actually wanted to be with him, it was the fact that he was with Quinn, and being with him was the closest you could ever to get to being with Quinn. Now that you've admitted it out loud, it makes you sound crazy and you decide to change the subject immediately. "Not that I'm going to go to New York anyway," you say sadly.

"What makes you think that?"

"I haven't heard from NYADA yet. I'm pretty sure by now it's going to be a thanks, but no thanks, we're not interested."

"Rach, you're the most talented person I know, they would be dumb not to take you."

Unexpected tears come to your eyes, and you're surprised you even have tears left to cry. You feel Finn pull you into an awkward hug and you briefly wonder how you ever thought the two of you were a perfect couple to begin with.

"Even if the unthinkable happens and you don't get accepted into NYADA, aren't there other choices out there?"

"A few," you say into his grease covered overalls. So much for taking a shower earlier.

"I am really sorry I didn't come to you first, about seeing someone new."

"Who is she?" you ask, though you're not sure you even care to know.

"Stephanie, she goes to Caramel High. Her dad is a client of Burt's and she came into the shop one day, and we just kinda hit it off."

You step back from his embrace, wipe your tears, and smile. "I'm happy for you." You truly are. "I better get going, I have a bunch of errands to run. I mean what I said about being friends Finn."

"Thanks again for being so cool, Rach. I'd like to be friends too."

You get in your car, feeling slightly better about things, or well just Finn. What to do about NYADA and Quinn still loom over you, but you try to shake it off. Even if it was a pretty mutual end to your relationship with Finn, it still doesn't stop you from making a quick stop to grab a pint of vegan vanilla ice cream on the way home. You're on auto pilot back to your house, but suddenly you find yourself in front of Quinn's house. You're tempted to stop and tell her she was right and apologize when all she was doing was looking out for you, but something stops you, and you continue on your way home.

Your day goes from bad to worse when Kurt and Blaine show up at your doorway unannounced. You can tell from the look on Kurt's face and the letter in his hand that you're really not in the mood for him to tell you his big news.

"Guess what!" he exclaims the minute he steps foot into the large foyer.

"What?" you fake a smile as you answer.

"I got my acceptance to NYADA today!" He must see my face fall because he continues with less enthusiasm. "Didn't you?"

You just nod that you haven't, not wanting to speak because you know you'll break down. Eating that entire pint of ice cream sounds really good right about now.

"What? You have to go with me! I won't go without you!"

You make your way to the kitchen with both boys following behind you. "Now that's just silly Kurt. You can't throw away this wonderful opportunity because of me."

"I'm sure you will get yours soon. Maybe it just got out slowly because of the holidays," Blaine offers, trying to make you feel better.

"I think it's a sign I'm just not as good as I thought I was. Mind if I eat this in front of you guys, or do you want any? It's been a rough day."

"We're good, we ate just before we stopped by. Let's go sit and talk."

The boys sit on either side of you, as you begin to down your delicious ice cream.

Kurt turns on the tv and begins to flip through the channels as he waits for you to start the conversation. "What else happened today?" Kurt asks gently, when it's clear you're not going to start.

"I ended it with Finn," you say, between heaping spoonfuls of ice cream.

"Did I just hear you correctly?" Blaine asks.

"You what? Seriously?"

"Yeah well he was seeing someone else, and things just weren't the same anymore."

"As his step brother, I will and can kill him. How can you be so nonchalant about this?"

"It's ok Kurt, really. Sure it hurts that he wasn't honest with me, but I knew we'd never go the distance. He was always going to stay right here in Lima, and I want to get out of here and never come back. We have decided to remain friends for the best of the club and to hopefully win Regionals, though you're probably better off without me."

"Stop your nonsense. While I do agree, Finn was dragging you down, we could never win Regionals without you."

"Thanks Kurt."

"Wait, so you're really ok with the fact that you and Finn are no longer a super couple? I'm just having a hard time processing this, you've been pining over him ever since he joined the glee club."

"I've grown up a lot over the last two years Kurt."

"There's someone else, isn't there?" Kurt asked excitedly.

You try your best to keep your face neutral, not really wanting Kurt to know about your feelings for Quinn. Feelings that you were still trying to process and make sense of. Feelings you're not even sure she reciprocates.

"I take from your silence that there is someone! Who? Who?"

"Kurt, I don't think it's fair to pry," Blain interjects.

"Let me guess, this new person doesn't return your feelings, hence the eating of the entire carton of ice cream?"

You should know by now nothing gets by Kurt and he won't stop until you say something. "There may be someone, and no I'm not telling, and no, I have no idea how they feel about me."

"Well you know we are both here if and when you are ready to talk."

You lean your head on Kurt's shoulder and sigh deeply. You don't know if you'll ever be ready to talk about these feelings you had suppressed for so long now coming to the surface in full force. "Thanks."

**/**

"Rachel Honey, are you almost ready?"

"Almost Daddy!" you yell down the stairs at him, when clearly you are not ready at all. You are supposed to be leaving in a few minutes for the Lopez's New Years Eve party, and you are having second thoughts about what you are wearing. You wouldn't even be going if your dad wasn't now working with Santana's dad in the hospital and part of the party is to celebrate his promotion. You walk back over to your mirror, checking yourself out again. You feel extremely self conscious in the dress, but at the same time, you almost feel pretty enough to catch her attention, assuming she will be there.

There's a knock at the door and your dad pokes his head in. "Come on, Sweetie. We better get going before your father blows a gasket." He falters a moment when he walks in the room and gets a good look at you. "My little girl is all grown up. Where has the time gone?"

"Daddy, don't cry! Now is not the time to get into this. We can't make Dad late for his own party." You give him a hug and follow him down the stairs.

"My, my, is that my little girl? You look beautiful."

A slight blush rises up your cheeks. Maybe you don't look so bad after all. "Dad, tonight isn't about me. It's about you. You both are looking very handsome if I do say so myself." You follow your dads to the car and start to get a little nervous as you all make the short drive to the Lopez house. You hope Quinn is there, but at the same time you don't because you have no idea what you want to say to her. You check your coat at the door and can't believe how many people are already at the party. You've never been to Santana's house and you can't help but chuckle at how far from the truth her Lima Heights Adjacent act was. You quickly lose your dads amongst the sea of people and figure it will be a losing battle to try to find them.

"Hey, want to dance?"

You turn at the sound of a male's voice and recognize him as one of the football players you had seen while watching Finn. You assume word has traveled fast about your break up with Finn.

"Beer?" he asks, handing you a bottle.

You take the beer, hoping it will calm your nerves as you decide you may as well have fun tonight. You take a long swig with a flick of your wrist and try really hard not to make a disgusted face as you swallow.

"I'm Adam, by the way. Ready to dance?"

You nod, take another long swallow of the beer and follow him to the dance floor. It's crowded and you try to blend in and go with the beat of the music. You're not sure how long you've been dancing, or what number beer you're on, but you are more than aware when you feel her eyes on the back of your head. You try not to act obvious as you glance her way, trying to avoid eye contact. You don't know if she wants you to see her watching you from her spot on the wall, but she doesn't make any indication that she has seen you looking at her. You notice her leave a few minutes later and before your brain can compute what you are doing, you find yourself following outside. You hang back a minute, watching her fumble around her pockets for what you can only assume are cigarettes and are relieved when her hands come up empty. "You were right you know," you hear yourself say and really wish your brain would wait a minute for you to catch up. Maybe all the beer you drank wasn't such a good idea.

"I was right about what?" she asks, finally finding her voice.

You walk up from behind her so you could talk face to face. "Finn. He was cheating, with a girl from Vocal Adrenaline." You run your hands over your bare arms. Without the crowd of people dancing around you and the lack of clothes you're wearing, you are quickly becoming cold.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't want to be right." She holds her coat open to you, inviting you to come inside with her.

You hesitate for a moment, before joining her in her coat. You put your arms tight around her waist and lean your head against her chest. You're glad your heart isn't the only one that's racing. "I'm sorry I lashed out at you."

She rests her chin lightly on top of your head, closing her coat tighter around the two of you. "It's ok, really, don't apologize. He's an idiot if he can't see what an amazing person you are."

"Really?" you ask, not bothering to hide your tears.

"Really," she confirms.

You hold her a little tighter, not wanting to let go. Between her intoxicating perfume and the alcohol your head is swimming, you don't know what to say.

"Guess it's almost midnight," she says, finally breaking the silence. "You can go inside, I'm sure there are plenty of guys waiting to kiss you as the clock strikes twelve."

You take a step back so you can look you into her beautiful hazel eyes. "I'm pretty content right where I am," you say shyly.

Her face begins to burn and turns a lovely shade of red and you don't know if it's from the cold, or alcohol but you find it very adorable. "Me too," she admits quietly.

You hear the crowd in the house begin the count down to midnight. "Three, two, one," you say in her ear, your lips every so lightly brushing against her lobe. "Happy New Year, Quinn."

"Happy New Year Rachel," she says, looking down at you with a smile huge on her face.

You feel as though time stops as you slowly stand on your tiptoes, and with the confidence from all the alcohol you drank earlier in the evening, wrap your hands behind her neck, close your eyes, and hesitantly push your lips onto hers. You can tell she's caught by surprise, but doesn't take long to push her lips back against yours. It lasts only a few seconds, but you feel more than you ever have and all these feelings begin to flood your mind. You feel so much it scares you, so you do the first thing that comes to mind. You run.

**A/N: Ok so I know I said this would be a one shot, then I said maybe one more part, but I'm having fun with this, and I miss writing from Quinn's POV so there will be at least one more part going back to Quinn's POV. Thanks so much for reading!**


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